Don't crack under pressure (well...i'm trying)

Minna...hisashiburi desu ne, i'm back hoho..yeaa it's b'cause those piles of homeworks i got, a lot of stuff to do. Geez, those teachers don't give us space for "self-entertainment" things. And more to that, computer lesson is much more complex every day. I feel like my head will blow up sooner or later *sigh* OOooouuuw give tomorrow's event as an example. 11 o'clock tomorrow, i'll have a tele-conference session. AaaArrgh give me a break plzzz... what am i suppose to say, and...more important than that, how do i suppose to understand what they're saying in japanese?!!!!? i only have 5-months-of-hardwork-and-blood-shed grammar, for god's sake!!!

************100%
taking the stress out has been executed successfully!

ohohoho even as difficult as it seems, i know i just can't give up that easily..who do you think I am?! fufufu about tomorrow, i'll certainly give it all. I recall what my friends said the first time those japanese people came to interview us. Almost all of them said: "if we didn't know what those interviewers asked, just said the magic words: "mou ichido, sumimasen"". huahaha those are indeed magic words. But, yesterday when we first heard about tomorrow's tele-conference, i didn't hear, even once, they offered that excuse again. Why? well myself, i personally think we have enough grammars to begin with, okay...maybe not enough grammar to have a high quality conversation, but it is still okay though. Um i hope everything goes well *crossing finger ^^*

Apart from that, i'll go to Bali tomorrow!! yaayyy...ureshii yo. Can't wait to see my mom and dad, also my lil puppy that is not so "puppy" anymore huehehe he turned into a beast already, can u believe it? Soooo damn naughty, and so....big. I was speechless the last time i saw him. But, his fur is thicker..whee i wanna kiss him huehehe..wait for me honey ^^

dizzy

 finally... after been through all tests and interview, i can sleep well tonight ^^ and guess what, the tests were, ehm DIFFICULT!!!! geez i wish i studied harder before. About the interview, it was even worse ~huehehe~ it's hard to understand what japanese people say. *mada mada dame desu*

can't think anymore, time to sleep

notitle

I'm spending 5-days-holiday in jakarta....nooo....T.T all flights to bali are fully booked, geez annoying. But it's okay, able to use the ticket money for shopping hehe...tomorrow dvd hunting day!! it's been so long since the last time i watched the recent movie ^^ well, that and studying for a big test are my only activities for holiday. Actually i'm a lil bit pissed, i've arranged to meet my old friend in bali and hang out ~the last time i saw her was in high school graduation party at Jimbaran~ man, time really goes by fast. Since she's studying in China, it's not easy to meet, always either the unsynchronized holiday schedule or things like this, have no ticket to bali hiks maybe another time. And one thing to add my disappointment, my mom said that today my fam and my church community in bali spent a night together in somewhere cool **this is my mom's way to tease me --> somewhere cool!!!!**  

lately also i rarely saw my friends in college, maybe they've got jobs already, buuut somehow i want to turn back the time just to skip morning classes huehehe

tired n sleepy

 After spent a night in Puncak, all i got is...bruise...well it was fun though, spent time with friends, buuuut....sooo tired, and not all teachers could go with us. Hhhh can't wait to go to sleep, ja ne

A sweet lesson from up above

I just read my friend's blog and suddenly i was awaken!! She wrote something about how she had been provided with all the best. And i don't know...when i read that, somehow I miss my Lord a lot. Lately, i've been away from Him although i know He's been by my side all the time, but i spent less time with Him and tried to solve things with my own effort alone. If nothing went according to my will, i was depressed and yes, nothing good came out of it, nothing was solved, no peace at all. Finally i knew why i acted so selfishly and had a very short temper lately ~huehe2~ ^^ if you're trying to do things on your own and putting Him aside, hmm....i have no doubt that you're gonna end up like me today, depressed and feel like the whole world is going against you ***well, it's a hiperbole again fufufu***
And right now, just a few minutes ago, He taught me with His own way,
how sweet, He indeed loves me sooo much. And suddenly, there's no cloud in my heart again ^^ even though i know, there's still that あほ　(forgive me Lord).

===================================

>>>^0^ <<<
life is again, like a box of chocolate, you'll eventually pick the bitter one

Something that bothers me lately

After finished reading The Alchemist, i started to think about my own dream, what i desire the most. Well, it's not like i didn't have any dreams before reading that book, but it keeps coming to my mind that what i'm doing right now is faaar...far away from what i yearn for. Let me make this clear, i said that not because i hate my current situation, in fact, i'm sooo damn happy and grateful for what He has given me so far, and indeed, they're beyond even my wildest dreams. See, that's what makes me think. What i have now...i wouldn't exchange it with anything else ever, but....to tell da truth, not what i really enjoy doing it. See..see...how disturbing. And one more question, how do you differentiate between dream (i.e. something you really want to do) and a hobby ~maybe not a hobby, but something you think you can do without getting bored until you die~? That's confusing............... ................ hah never mind, forget it, but u know what, i think someday i'll enter an art school, have my own studio, and open an exhibition huahahaha opened just for a limited audience, family only ^^ aaaaaah ばか ですね？

about my training, only one comment i can give, "It's getting tougher and tougher than ever before". I often find my hands full these days, there's a lot to study, i mean a looot. But everything's still running pretty well, nothing goes outside track yet.

Ow this 17 august, hope i can go home, miss my friends n family so much, and my lil sister huehehehe i have sooo many stories (read: curhat) to tell her. Well if my mom gives her "okay" word, then nothing can stop me from going back home ;o~

aaah my dearest puppy also, hang in there dear, i'll hug you pretty soon hoho

この　blog を　書いてから、日本語を　べんきょうします。 Halaaaaah what the hell!!!!

Très fatigué et très somnolent.....merde!!!

Maintenant, très somnolent....hhhh...je n'apprends pas encore!! En outre japanese, j'apprends informatique..huaaaa treees fatigué T.T En plus, demain, peut-être j'ai mon examine..merde!! bonne chance pour moi!! japanese lang, japanese lang grrrr la francais ou le japanese??? Naturellement, la français est mon préféré, très bien, jap lang est....non bon (mauvais), plus mauvais... hihihi .:: don't let Full Cast know 'bout this, i'll be banned from entering Japan, aa pardon pardon huahaha ::. Ça alors, c’est ça y est

** mon cher, bonne nuit ne?! **
.:ing hwa:.

the story behind the oil painting

i made this in september 2005. i would give this to someone important to me.

haah it reminds me of my mom *lol* can u believe it? she always asks the same question: "have you told him?" Hahahaha that's my mom ^^;
On my graduation day, she said out loud: "where is he?" OMG....huehehe i was freaking out. Sooo...what's with the pic anyway? well...when i made the painting, i kept thinking about my early days in college. Finally, i decided to add 4 persons on the painting ~did you notice?~ ^^ hmm...they're depicting my dream, those persons. My future kids, future husband (hopefully with a lot of "poundsterling" saving ** once again, to all my best frendz, u can crack the code fufufu**)...huahaha now when i recall that thought, i sounded sooo stupid back then. だいじょうぶですね? to record my own stupidity ^o^

btw, one of my habit...feel homesick then try to ease it a bit by looking at old photos...then...more homesick than ever hihi especially this one above, so i thought i wrote something about "the story behind the painting" ;0~

.::. for 私のともだち、がんばってね for ur thesis exam!!! .::.

かわいい ですね

anoo....at first wanna try writing this post in japanese....buuut....due to my incapability ~huhu~ i think it is best not to embarassed myself ^^

haaah it's so weird...each time i look at this pic, somehow i just wanna go out shopping ~hieee...so dangerous~ luckily i have pseudocode task for tomorrow untouched yet. but stiiiill...i wish i could do a non stop shopping with an unlimited budget....geez life would be sooo beautiful **yeaah right ;o~ **

inspiration-sama...don't leave my brain..

haah now when my painting mode's on, when finally got a rare inspiration......i have no brushes, OMG!! i left all my painting tools at home, hmph %$#@! what should i do....what should i do....*don't tell me to buy new ones, no way*
so saad, it took me a long time to be in the mood to paint *sigh*

btw, tomorrow, my besuto furendo (huehehe "best friend" term a la japanese) will come to jkt, yay!! mizz her soooo much. Well, it's only 3 months, but stiiiil, something's missing when she's not around.

cya~~

:: indulging my poor self in sorrow now ~~ o where art thou, my brushes, my dear eisel, my beloved pallette T.T ~~

huaa kakashi is sooo cool...

look..look...ahahhaha i always laugh whenever i see his eyes, so damn cute *such sleepy eyes* why did nobody force me to read naruto before??? huuuh...so i guess i'm a 'lil late here hehe...

Too strong for too long ..yup, it must be it

i thought it didn't matter anymore, but i was wrong, it still really matters now..after so many years..say.. 2 years and a half? * yeah i know it is ONLY 2 years, but heey...i should get an award for this, i'm sooo easily get bored, remember? huehehe *

geez time passed by so quickly and that thing still haunts me, can't let it go, or is it really me who don't want to let it pass? which one it is, it sucks. And to add pain to my misery even more, i don't know what the hell i should do to take a closure to this. Hhh i really want to know, i wanna put this to an end you know, but yeaah i guess it's too strong for too long and i never really did anything to get outta this. i dwelled in it, i enjoyed it eventhough it was all too painful * but a wonderful feeling though sigh...oh cut the crap!!! *

I'm so damn tired, hoping for too long with nothing even the smallest thing in my favor happened. Soooo...here's my resolution for today's month...JUST FORGET IT, AMEEN!!!

yeaah..going back home *again*

hhh i'm kinda losing some knacks to write blog nowadays, YEAH..it really comes to me... AGAIN!!! can somebody just tell me how to overcome this boredom by nature????? to tell u da truth, i write today coz i'm so damn happy to go back to bali...yup, to my lovely hometown, aaaand to the love of my life....my puppy.....but i can't stay longer than wat i'm expecting, have that training program to do....

okay then....cya...


** i just realized, i used "..." a lot huh? **

God is soooo good

fiuuuh after been through so many sleepless nights started in 18 April, finally....finally....i got a job...in Japan!!! hoho i'm soo eager to work there, never thought i'd really go to Japan to work ^o^

but to wait for the result to come out was another thing. Yesterday was the most miserable night ever!! after being interviewed by 3 japanese people i could hardly wait for the result...so i ended up thinking back about my interview and how i thought i'd made a mistake here and there...and woke up every one hour!!!!! geez...and at 7.30 in the morning, i got a very very good news ho3 but before i can work there, i'll be in a training program for 7 months...*grin*

actually i wanted to post something about this, yeah you know, kind of a progress report each day the selection tests were held, buuut no no...big risks *tehehe*

** miz u dear puppy **
** wait for me this sunday okay, i'll hug u pretty soon huehehe **

Look!! How cute he is ^o^

This pic was taken after he ate. He looks like a pig ^^

lot of gifts ^^

wanna inform u, March 5 2006, i was falling in love at d first sight. He's so cute, adoreable, loveable. Let me introduce u with my brand new puppy!!!!! he's 4 months old and loves to sleep a lot. Aaarrgh mizz him badly ^^ can't wait to go home. wanna kiss him ehehe
...........................
...........................
i forget what to say, hhh...i'm a lil bit sick today, i've been sick for about 3 days and i'm not getting better. perhaps this is b'coz of my holiday. well my mom took me with her for a week trip. It was a hell lot of fun but the last day....a hectic day. And..as a result, i'm flu, having a cough, fever...geez!! but it's worth it he3 ^^ now it is time to set my priorities in life. i'm kind of lost, so many things that have to be done in a short time. Toefl test, ccna test, scholarship hunting, job hunting...huuh headache!!

Voila...

hhh...i've done a lot of thinking just to decide whether i should say something like this in blog *sigh* what a tough decision.

okay, to begin with, i wanna say thanks to my friend whom i've known since my first day at college. at first, i want to say this in person, but i'd better not. so, i hope my friend read this blog.

*start...*

Cher, mon ami, ca va??
C'est un secret actually, but i think it's okay to tell hehehe ce n'est pas un secret anymore.
Well, merci. if it wasn't b'coz of u, i wouldn't bother to give all my best. Tu es magnifique! tu es merveilleux, u r able to place urself higher, and to exceed my expectation. BIEN FAIT!!. Je t'adore.

So once again, merci bien, to be one step ahead me *grr...at this point i should get angry, shouldn't i? u're ALWAYS one step ahead!!* ooow btw, i'm glad we made it at d same time *fiuh..* You have no idea how glad i was, that i managed to hold my pride. The night before, i was worried to death , my whole life were at stake u know!! Thankfully, ev'rything ended well hoho ^^

Amities..

*end..*

yesss!! i'm goin' home tomorrow, but i haven't packed anything yet. Cut me some slack ;p

:: busy...busy...packing clothes ^^

i have my title now!!!

hoi hoi i nailed it!! ~thanks God~ i got through that horrible day ever #thesis exam# really..i don't wanna have that experience ever again!! horrifying u know!! ehhehe but at the end i did it. well, for my frendz who are still waiting for the schedule, jia you!! keep fighting!! and keep ur faith n hope in Him, n ev'rything shall be okay.

oouu huehehe look at that pic. what do u think?? is it bad?? umm that's my latest painting. u can't see the signature, can u?? aaah too bad!!

well, to finish it, i got some help of course from my art teacher. i did that painting in December, n why orchid? coz my dad reeeaaaally likes orchid. it's always a great pleasure to paint something for some1 u love the most. btw, can u tell that it's orchid? my mom thought it was butterfly *sigh*

This 15?? oh no

yesterday my friend told me it was this 15. my thesis exam schedule! kind of shock, bcoz i haven't prepared anything whatsoever.
......... (speechless)
study study and study hard
..................

don't mess around!

how is it possible for him to be such a pain in d a**? ~sorry ^^~ i just don't get it. grrrr made me feel angry, disappointed, and embarassed - the whole package, everybody!! - in one brief moment!! i don't know what that cold blooded brat wants from me!! hmmph...wanna throw something *ups..no* okay...just as my best friend always says...be patient...take a deep breath...