two tiring days, what a troublesome moment

All done! the pressure, the excitement...fiuh...it's all done, well actually, not the pressure though, it's still there ^^ how am i supposed to get rid of it? getting sick day after day. But somehow i feel that is the real pleasure, isn't it? ne, refering to the previous post, the harder the path, the more meaningful the goal would be, right? So, after taking the exam, i realized that i have sooo many things yet to be learned. And it taught me not to be full of myself but always seek knowledge more and more. If you were proud of yourself, it would be much much more painful the time when you fail.

Mr. Kawashita was right, the exam....sooo damn difficult!!! well at first i thought he said it a lot just to make us worry even more, but noooo...he was sooo right, either i didn't study hard enough or the questions were indeed too difficult to bear *weeeee another hiperbole* and the worst of all...he didn't announce the result!!! it's too much, but what else to say? he's the decision maker isn't he? and i believe it's for our own sake *well i'm still trying to believe that khukhu*

Okay, one more thing...and this is the most important of all!! i didn't have time before to post this before, but i met this person a few days ago...and the best thing is he's still the same as i used to know him >.<　he still has the same look *hey of course, did i expect him to have a plastic surgery??* huehehe but yeah...meeting him again was a blessing for me. God knows how i longed for that moment to come.

Life winding road

So far my life is such a roller coaster. When i thought everything would be run smooth, right on the schedule with no surprises on the way, well, i was wrong. My dream seems out of reach, ehm not really out of reach, but more to be able to touch a bit but unable to fully grasp it. I'm kinda sick of it, feeling the pressure ev'ry day, even a day slacking off feels weird. Now with the final day is drawing even nearer - ato isshuu kan (one more week!!) - I AM PANIC!!!

Maybe on a second chance sure i can pass the test, but....i really do want to nail it on the first go. Crossing finger....a lot of pray....

ps: ma, pa, miss u...

Ithaca

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon - do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your heart does not set them up before you.

Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;
stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds,
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from scholars.

Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would never have set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.

Constantine Cavafy