Tuesdays with Morrie

A great book by Mitch Albom.

"What is it about silence that makes people uneasy?"... Morrie Schwartz

In God I trust

Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me.

John 14:1

taken from SOCIO Machida 301 (aka my room ^^) balcony

Made with love... part 1

"Paintings have a life of their own that derives from the painter's soul"... by Vincent van Gogh

December 2005
:: Painted this for my dad, as a gift. He likes orchid, and I could see that orchid is his passion ::
~Oil on canvas~

November 2005
~Oil on canvas~

August 24, 2008
:: Ever wonder how it feels like to fly? ::
~medium: watercolor~

August 02, 2008
~medium: watercolor~

Painting is just another way of keeping a diary... Pablo Picasso quoted.

Indeed, one painting is like one page from a diary. Pain, hope, tears and joy.. all of these are perfectly written on it.

Silently and secretly deciding to whom i want to dedicate my next painting is the only part i find most enticing. To paint while thinking about that person or basically anything you have in mind is so... i dont know, sacred?? *ugh nevermind, me and my weird thought again*

But sadly, it's a double-edged sword. i mean, i desperately want to create something with those brushes and color tubes and everything... but i don't feel IT, I don't feel the THING, it seems all wrong. Talk about bad vibes!! Driving me nuts.

a painting and a prayer... huh??

August 2008, 31. I painted that ^^

Are there moments you wish you could have back? To do it all over again? Well, i may say i do wish i did certain things differently. But it really doesn't matter anymore, right?! You need to work on the present not the past. It's crystal clear, the moment when someone said to me I have to be a better person.

♪　Dear God, i have a lot of work to do. I mean A LOT. Can i work hand in hand with You? It is You we're talking about, nothing's impossible right? I wanna change what needs to be changed so in the end, i'll be able to proudly say: I'm ready to give my best to the best person for me You have in mind. ♪

thank you

Since I will not be working in Shinjuku again next month – which is less than 3 weeks - I thought it would be nice to post something about people I met at work who - even though they didn't know it - have occasionally made my days especially in those darkest days ever in my whole life. In the list are Tsuda san and cleaning service oba san.

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Disclaimer:
Of course, there are other people too, and not mentioning them in the list doesn't mean i intentionally reduced their significant kindness, but rather, it's simply due to the great amount of length this post would take if I were to write down all of 'em.
*hey me, cut it out already, jeez…* >.<
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Now, where were we? Oh right, the list. Ookaayy, first on the list is our cleaning service lady. I met her months ago, when I still saw everything a dull gray. My first encounter with her happened when I went to the other room on the back to get myself a hot water for my coffee. I had never seen her before. Or so i thought. I guess I took everyone for granted before. Anyhow, she was there, cleaning the basin, and I just walked in and started filling my cup with hot water,
staring at it. Now that I recall it, maybe I did look like a complete idiot. At least I felt like I had been trampled and a huge "hopeless" was written on my face. It was so real at that time. That's being the reason or it's indeed her nature to be so warm towards other people that she stopped at what she was doing and looked at me straight in the eye, smiling and said this "What a cute
cup you have there." I had to fight back emotions that I'd been desperately locking deep inside so it didn't surface. After all I was in the office not in my own room. Hell that was hard.

I almost didnt believe it myself how just a small remark brought a surprisingly big impact on me. Okay, at this point you are allowed to roll your eyes and say “Oh honey, she was just being conversational and you got pumped up over nothing”. True, maybe I overreacted. But then again, considering the state I was in at that time... warmed my heart, alot.

..... ehm, let's move onto next person. Tsuda san.

As for Tsuda san *btw, he's around 60s*, just looking at him makes you wanna smile. He has certain quality in him that attracts people. When we reach office at the same time *which is so often*, he will make random short comments about almost everything. He's a blast! Given the fact that most of my colleagues here are living rocks and dont talk often, hearing his comments for the first time I was uncertain if he was actually talking to me..oh stupid me. Anyway, being my boss and all certainly doesn't draw him back. Way to go sir!

Do you believe that God sends his angels in the form of unlikely person to brighten our days? I do believe it now. I mean, there I were, completely drained, having nothing to hold onto, and I must admit to you, I felt a little suicidal *I know this might offend you, sorry, but I wanna be honest about it*, and at that particular time, these people just came to me, said a couple or two and zapped!! As simple a conversation as you could think of, amazingly it mattered like huge to me. You won't believe the effect those brief convs had on me. Other colors started to fill the picture, transparent at first but gradually increased their values.

What im trying to say is it's amazed me how even the smallest gesture of kindness and the slightest attention could bring a year worth of warmth. You will never know whose heart you touch simply by giving a smile. Let's do it whole heartedly friends!! ^^
*Gosh, I do feel like a million years old talking like this, oh well whatever wakkakaka*

Hell, I KNEW this would be a long post afterall.