a stunning view

You know that i hate my job, right? but there's one thing that i know I would miss badly if I stop working in shinjuku. Morning view, that is. Especially today. Just one block away from my office building, i was mesmerized by this particular building far away. An ancient, castle-like building. I didn't notice it before, or else, maybe i did see it but looks like it appeared as a mere building like any other building in shinjuku. So what makes it special today? Well, yesterday Tokyo had an all day shower. As for today, it's not raining, but we have a cloudy, "gloomy" sky. Very solemn haha And apparently, yesterday's weather and today's greyish sky added something to that building.
I saw a fog covering the top of the building, and black birds flying... hovering, also near the top. Can you believe it? With all the fog, greyish sky, black birds, it was almost like being transported to Transylvania and gazing at Dracula's castle itself *um okay.. exaggerating a bit ^^*
But yeah... that's what I thought when i saw it, but of course i had to throw the people around me out of the picture first hihi
hhh i wish i had my camera with me. That, certainly, would make a great picture.

:: back to work... sleepy ::

sleepless night

aarrghh panic mode!!! So today, at 1 o'clock, i have to do a presentation *in japanese... hiks* how am i supposed to do it? I'm not proud of my japanese skill. I rarely speak to my colleagues let alone explain something technical, and yet my senpai still want me to do it *sigh* guess i have no option. We'll see how it goes hahaha hope it's not a disaster since i don't really enjoy speaking in public ^^; goshh... now it's 3.50 am and i've already had all these butterflies inside ughh... PANIC!!! i thought about practicing yesterday, but a thought is a thought. Instead, watching movie was all i did up until now.. huaaa my bad!!

practice... practice...
ciao~
::damn sleepy::

a rare moment at tutoring

See I've been tutoring a 12-year-old boy named Michael for about 2 months now. He's half japanese half american. The thing with Mikey is, he's so unpredictable you just cannot let your guard down.　Da first time I met him, he was being all nice and sweet. A sheepish kind of attitude.　And I thought, "well, looks like I'm not gonna have a hard time with him. Let's see how our first lesson will be." And finally the first lesson itself. It was pretty much as I thought it was going to be, given the first impression of a really nice boy, he was easy to teach despite the lack of concentration...

Okay so now the second lesson. I started to change my mind a bit, the third lesson... I was like, "Jesus, please I beg You, if someday I have a son, don't let him be like Mikey." So not cute *I mean the attitude*. Well, he often drives me crazy but he knows for sure how to lift up my mood haha that lil jerk. If he senses something wrong with the way I talk, he is quick to ask for a short break and do a "21" game hahaha I do loovee~ that game. A math game by the way. So, in the end, even though he often shows some attitude and I get so stressed out in teaching him, I cannot really dislike him. The frenzy's going on for sure, but amidst all that, there's always one little moment that keeps my sanity intact hihi...

Having been through all lessons marked with little stress, there's no wonder I found the last session two days ago somewhat extraordinary. He asked me to watch him practicing for the exhibition night this Friday *wait... is it today??* He's been doing the research about chemicals for the past two weeks and I helped him on the power point. So yesterday he said, "eva, you don't have to do anything today, just sit and watch me!" I was like yeah, ookaayy... ^^. To be honest, I was touched when he asked me that. He said he waited for me to practice together *ooh Mikey~~* that alone was enough to brighten the rest of that day.
Then he did the presentation *soo damn cute hihi* if I were the teacher, I would gladly give him a perfect score just for being cute *giggle* He made me laugh and during the break he taught me weird dancing hoh so much fun!! He said as many as 100 people will come to the exhibition *wish him good luck*

The fact that he waited for me to do the presentation made me happy, but every now and then when I think of his mom, it is so heartbreaking. A couple of weeks ago, he showed me a jumbo deck he got as a reward for earning most points at school. It was obvious that I was the first person to be told the news. I mean, hey it wasn't like she wasn't at home before I got there. He told me right away the moment he saw me, but why didn't he tell her first?
He kept babbling 'bout it, looked real proud. So imagine if you were his mom and not being the first to know, that your son wasn't willing to eagerly tell you what happened at school... What exactly would you feel? A certain heartbreak if it is for me. So who is to be blamed? Mother or son? Oh but of course it is easy to be an observer. About the real hardship in having kids? Well... no idea. I just hope, when the time comes, I'm able to do it right.

bad day

ok let's see... I started the day by "gracefully" falling off the stairs, amidst the heavy rain... my pants were all wet, nice! Then, as if that wasn't enough already, my umbrella was broken. And the train itself! God.. today was unusually crowded. I could barely breathe. People had to REALLY squeeze their way out of train. I've been in one packed train before, but that was nothing compared to today's. Perfect you think? Hahaha... Wait! Just when I finally got to my seat, my senpai... !@#$% hhh she really got on my nerves. I guess being patience, humble and not easily angered is not that easy. Once you've determined to do so, there's always something happens that tests your patience. Oh dear.

Old flame

So tired. No matter how hard I try, that scar, it's still there. I'm still licking my wound. Guess it will stay there for quite a long time, geez. Can't help it, having an emotion breakdown and it happens over and over again. And you know what, the worst of it is that I cannot predict when that will strike me. I'm caught off-guard. Awful thought pops-up just like that, the tears keep coming out and I can only make one good point about it. It is easier to fall asleep hahaha I will eventually get tired and sleepy and off I go to the dreamland khukhukhu

ow btw, my brother finally made it ^^ yay~ great

:: Pray... keeps you strong ::

Cutest puppy... I want him

Yesterday we had a small party at my place. It was quite fun. I made okonomiyaki hahaha Here's the pic.
Me and ellen had okonomiyaki for our lunch two times in just 3 days. Kinda sick of it ^^ Oh and we tried to make tiramisu too with no success, of course ;p

On our way back from the station, I took a picture of the sweetest creature ever. There's this 'lil pink pet shop in machida, in front of Kaldi, a store that sells imported goods. Well, I saw the white puppy, really cute, adorable, he easily caught my attention and I just stared at him. We walked pass the pet shop on the way to the station, and I took a mental note to take a pic of him on my way back.

Broken wings

You know what, sometimes I wonder will my being faithful ever be paid off or not. It's so tiring, to face each day. God... how I want to laugh and smile like I used to. But I do believe You can heal me and mend my wings, no doubt *yoosshh^^*

They say, if things get worse and worse, give thanks and praise the Lord. If you're able to do that, then you are being humble before God. Can I? It is so hard to do that without questioning God. But then, who am I to question Him?