Fireworks

It's already summer and talking 'bout summer festival in japan means no other than fireworks festival!! yatta~~ finally i'm about to see the 'real' fireworks, not some 'cupu' things back in indonesia *no thanks* ^^ so tomorrow me and the other fullcast members are going to Asakusa, well, the asakusa itself has an ancient kind of atmosphere, so actually it'll look amazing with all the fireworks' blaze....that's what i think though hehe we'll see tomorrow...

ow i've read the latest and final book of Harry Potter btw, it's kinda sad...FINAL BOOK means NO MORE HARRY POTTER!! i want moorreeee~~ *teehee* this is maybe a lil hint for those who haven't yet read the book, but i REALLY DO want to say this to my friend diana: "Heeeyy, see....my fave professor really did his things right, fair and square, period ^^ i chose no wrong person as an idol hahaha and i do expect to be in slytherin"

i'm here in japan!!!

well it's a bit late though, i've been here since last month, may 30 to be exact. Being in japan when you are about to turn 23 years old is something. It was a great birthday present but somehow being apart from those you love in indonesia was unbearable. i REALLY missed my frendz, family. i managed to make some new frendz though haha

<--- yosshh Tokyo Tower!!! having seen it upclose...my first impression...um sama ja kyk gw liat monas hahaha maybe it'll look better at night with all the lamps....maybe....

but you're not really in japan if you don't take a pic in tokyo tower u know khukhu *who made that rule?*

11 hours at mall...yeaah

man, that's what i call a perfect weekend hoho, well, it was tika's idea to watch midnite movie, and i suggested how about a day in mall? from 12 o'clock till midnite, and voila! an endless walking and shopping huehehe me and rosa bought a similar jacket *cute* and the body shop's "oceanus" perfume lured me into buying it ^^ well, in general it was fun, yeah hang out with your friends, could anything else be more fun than that??? BUT...somehow i felt guilty, i didn't even touch japanese text books that day. And home sick......geez it's getting worse day after day. I miss my family, wanna sleep on my own bed, in my own house, take a hot shower.......aargghhhh HOOOMMEEE

two tiring days, what a troublesome moment

All done! the pressure, the excitement...fiuh...it's all done, well actually, not the pressure though, it's still there ^^ how am i supposed to get rid of it? getting sick day after day. But somehow i feel that is the real pleasure, isn't it? ne, refering to the previous post, the harder the path, the more meaningful the goal would be, right? So, after taking the exam, i realized that i have sooo many things yet to be learned. And it taught me not to be full of myself but always seek knowledge more and more. If you were proud of yourself, it would be much much more painful the time when you fail.

Mr. Kawashita was right, the exam....sooo damn difficult!!! well at first i thought he said it a lot just to make us worry even more, but noooo...he was sooo right, either i didn't study hard enough or the questions were indeed too difficult to bear *weeeee another hiperbole* and the worst of all...he didn't announce the result!!! it's too much, but what else to say? he's the decision maker isn't he? and i believe it's for our own sake *well i'm still trying to believe that khukhu*

Okay, one more thing...and this is the most important of all!! i didn't have time before to post this before, but i met this person a few days ago...and the best thing is he's still the same as i used to know him >.<　he still has the same look *hey of course, did i expect him to have a plastic surgery??* huehehe but yeah...meeting him again was a blessing for me. God knows how i longed for that moment to come.

Life winding road

So far my life is such a roller coaster. When i thought everything would be run smooth, right on the schedule with no surprises on the way, well, i was wrong. My dream seems out of reach, ehm not really out of reach, but more to be able to touch a bit but unable to fully grasp it. I'm kinda sick of it, feeling the pressure ev'ry day, even a day slacking off feels weird. Now with the final day is drawing even nearer - ato isshuu kan (one more week!!) - I AM PANIC!!!

Maybe on a second chance sure i can pass the test, but....i really do want to nail it on the first go. Crossing finger....a lot of pray....

ps: ma, pa, miss u...

Ithaca

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon - do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your heart does not set them up before you.

Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;
stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds,
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from scholars.

Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would never have set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.

Constantine Cavafy

Taon baru yg ga jelas T.T

haaah ini post pertama (and maybe the last?) pake my mother tongue hehe okay, let's begin:
hmm...taon baru, pertama kalinya felt so miserable, really, not because i didn't like facing this year or what, cuman yah gitu, gara2nya......taon baru sendirian doank di kost, gileee!!! beneran, pertama kalinya in my whole life (and i pray to God, moga2 jadi yg terakhir kalinya) gw sendirian di malem taon baru. Biasanya kan pergi ke gereja, niup trompet, denger bunyi trompet, ngitung countdown bareng2 ma mama, papa, evan, mbak siti, popo di gereja trus abis tu pergi ke pantai ma temen2, minum2 bareng, seru aja, naaaaaaaaaah taon baru kali ini, buset daaaa amit2 pokoknya, sendirian gitu di kost, trus mending ngapain gitu kan, nah gue...belajar bahasa jepang, ngapalin kanji, miserable ga tuh? yaah denger bunyi trompet di tv bukannya seneng malah ngerasa sedih ga keruan, cobaaa ga pul jkt cepet2 kan bisa jalanin ritual taon baru ma beloved family together ya gaak?? tapi ya uda sih, gantinya bisa jalan2 ma tmn2 jg, tp sebelom taon baru itu mah, tgl 29 klo ga salah, ke resto nya anaknya sensei, makanannya enak2 lhoo, trus abis ke semanggi langsung ke rumah sensei, ngobrol2 ampe malem. naah tgl 2 nya jg diundang pesta taon baruan jg, di rumah temennya sensei. eeeeh hari ini yaa tgl 2 hoho iya gitu deee seneng hari ini, soalnya bisa ketemu japanese people selain para sensei hehehe mreka smua pada ramah2 (hmmmm tatemae kana ano hitotachi wa???) trus ada satu anaknya temennya sensei yg gaul abis hehehe seru aja gt ngomong ma dia. Tapi pas pertama masuk ke rumah tmnnya sensei, ngerasa kyk intruder, abis bayangin aja, smuanya org jepang naaah ini tau2 ber-13 org indo dateng, hiks uda pengen pulang aja tuh td. oyaaa makanan....td smua makanan jepang khusus buat taon baru, ada sake pula..oishiiiiii...demo, sukoshi dake sake o nonda kara, zannen da. motto motto nomitai naa.. ^^

apalagi yaa, oye...kemaren2 juga sempet nonton the curse of the golden flower ma evan, gileeeee itu jay chou...ga bisa lebih cakep lageee??? hohoho puas daku ^^ hhhh pengen nonton lagiii...harus beli dvdnya!!! --->> resolusi taon baru hihi

skrng pas nulis blog jd inget lenny, hihi abisnya lenny = blog seeh, tuh anak emang niat klo nulis blog, panjang2. hmm dari dulu pas dia uda wisuda mo photo2 bareng ga sempet2, waktunya ga match terus seeh, trus dia jg ngutang traktir pula, klo itu gw ga lupa hohoho yaaa mudah2an dee bisa ketemuan dalam tempo yg sesingkat2nya ^^

bsk mulai training lagi, tp yg kepikiran sih bukan bhs jepangnya tp komputernya, tuh project mo diapain yaaah hehe emang sih cuman tinggal 2 minggu lagi and no more IT training, BUT...tu project kan mesti dikelarin. naaaaah mo browsing tentang http itu malesnya ampe ke ubun2, bawaannya pengen buka webpagenya kanji lah ato fs lah pokoknya jauh dr http streaming hiks piye doonk?? tp...what friends are for??? huehehehe...

ja ne...

Walk on the aisle

A week ahead should be an exciting week for me. My friends and i are going to spend 5 nights in a hotel. but of course it is for training purpose, we still have to study huhuhu *THEY don't let us taste a bit of happiness, why oh whyyy??* but it's okay, i have my friends with me, and even in a midst of a "tense and killing aura" that emitted from learning japanese, we should
have fun together, right? Can't wait for next monday ^^

I'm watching frontal fashion right now, and it's talking about how to pick your own wedding dress that suits you perfectly. You know every girl always dreams about her wedding day, it's all about a perfect wedding cake, a song, romantic place, and finally a perfect husband-to-be, a groom. Like a wedding in a fairy tale. I used to talk
about this a lot with linda, tika and diana. I miss them huhuhu long time no see, have so much to talk about. Well back to the wedding thing. if i recall this, i always want to laugh, thanks to
diana khukhuku
Diana and I enrolled in cisco class, thus she said if i EVER married with someone in our class, ehm ~ the one who was in charge back then ~, she would be my wedding planner, and, oh my god,
what a horrible plan. She said she would make a wedding cake that looked like a router plus
a cisco logo on top of it also!!! And i would wear a gown made by thus ****in'
cable, hold a bouqet of -wait no, it's not a flower- ,
again..., cable!!!
"For a gift away souvenir, let's give the latest switches"
~~geez...
"And for an ice breaker, the guests can compete who is the
quickest in making a straight cable and roll over
cable!! Free cisco voucher for the winner!!!"
those're what she said also.
If there's a neighbour from hell then she is a wedding
planner from hell hoho *gomen ne*

amari jikan ga nai yoo

Finally it's time for IT project. it's begun!! and guess what...i have no idea what to do. okay maybe have to tell u a little about my project. Client and server for radio streaming!!! and..as if it wasn't difficult at all, it has to support wav, mp3, ogg. With japanese test from fullcast drawing nearer, you tell me how can i find extra time to do THE project!!! ahahaha i think i know what you're thinking right now "Heyy you FOUND the extra time to post this blog!?!" khuhkhukhu yeah it's different my dear friend *giggle*
but i wonder why it is always like this? i find it difficult to do something serious. AAaaa sooner or later i can finish the project for sure, but the question is when? wish there wasn't that goddamnit deadline!!*&%#@! whatever, que sera sera right?

oouuw last sunday i took the JF test in Dharma Persada Univ. The whole test....i don't know what to say, the listening part....yeah really have nothing to say.......the grammar, kanji, and vocab part.....umm no comment. Afterwards, i felt like my head would start to explode. Yeahhh....that briefly explains the "sunday event" ne?

Christmas wishes - The List

Christmas wishes:
1. You know what i want, don't You my Dear God?? *wink ^^*
2. My fam's happiness, the most important thing of all
3. aa...japanese...omg...yess...that's it, evveerryyy single night i pray for my hopeless japanese ability
4. experience the magic of Christmas itself
5. ...umm....eee...hmm...i'll add the rest later on

Marley and Me

WoW...this is really me!! *giggle* Behold!! A new hilarious, touching, unbelievable yet still on earth story is launched for every dog lovers in d world. Marley and Me, Life and love with the worst dog in the world. Yess....this is a very story about a pure Labrador Retriever named Marley *when we still on it, can u guess whom Marley dog was named after? It was no other than Bob Marley!!* Marley is a hyperactive dog. just exactly the same with what i have back at home hoho, that cute lil beast ^^ You know, what makes this book great? the story is ain't so sweet, i mean not like those stories about dogs that are just soooo sweet like those J.CO's things ;p well, i didn't say that i against those sweet stories of dog, hell no, i love everything about dogs, just name it. May it be cute lil cihuahua to a remarkable, composed, handsome Golden Retriever to even "Kampoeng" dog, i love them all. Million thanks to God, I give you my praises for creating such a wonderful creature of all ~fufufu~ But, those stories *eventhough they're real stories* seemed like a fairy tale, you know, like a cinderella kind of things. Yet, i like reading those though, no matter how sweet they are, if it's about dog, bring it on!!

Okay, back to the book, like i said, this book offers two sides of a dog. Marley was a naughty, attention demanding dog. When i say attention demanding, i mean REALLY demanding. It even said in the book that Marley had some kind of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Geez, the name couldn't be cooler than that hahaha he was also very destructive. What do you expect from a hyper dog anyway?? a composed and charming dog that curls beside you in a bed?? Hell no, dream on people ^^ He was comical and responsive, and...very eager *all the time, except when he slept* His sense of obedience was almost zero. Marley attended an obedience class, and only 2 times attended that class, Marley was kicked out of class. A part when Marley, John and Jenny (his owner) joined the class is very funny i couldn't stop laughing. I laughed from the bottom of my heart hi3 it must have been like a hundred years before, the last time i laughed real hard by just reading a book. But Marley had a pure heart, he was so loving in his own way. This what makes this book sparkling. Every creature has them, right? those two sides, good and bad. This story offers us those, not always the good and sweet side. In life, you got them as a whole, one packet. Eehhm...but not that creature...snake, SNAKE AND ITS FAMILY, they don't have any, for God's sake, THEY JUST DON'T HAVE ANY GOOD POINT!!! snake is bad, evil creature on its own, THEY'RE BAD i'm telling you #my heart is thumping real fast now, this is how strong IT affects me# dog....cute dog....dog....okay, i managed to pull myself together ^^v back to Marley. I haven't finished reading the book yet, but by scanning the last pages, i knew that Marley was already back to Father in Heaven. On the back of the front cover, there are pictures of Marley posing cutely when he was still a puppy. On the back cover, pictures of Marley in his old days.

Reading the first 2 chapters, somehow, strangely i reminded of my lil beast at home. He is...say, a little out of his mind. He has no obedience at all, if Marley had it zero, then mine is minus 100. We can't control him at all. He can run everywhere with no sense of direction, i guess there's a program inside his damaged brain that always produces a random direction for him to follow. He doesn't obey what i say, driving me crazy. I love him, really. Even with his twisted brain, i do love him. I picked him from a bunch of puppies, he looked at me and i fell in love. But it's tiring, sucking your energy out of you. I never had a dog like him before. There were dogs with different personalities I had. Even the naughtiest one obeyed me. And now, here you are, a beast in the form of dog with a damaged brain unlike any other in the world!! But now, reading the story about Marley, i really want to give myself a second chance to see the beauty of my own dog. Yeah some sort of letting him to prove himself that he's worthy to be a part of my family. I know i said this a lot before, but...this time, i do mean it, i miss him.

Don't crack under pressure (well...i'm trying)

Minna...hisashiburi desu ne, i'm back hoho..yeaa it's b'cause those piles of homeworks i got, a lot of stuff to do. Geez, those teachers don't give us space for "self-entertainment" things. And more to that, computer lesson is much more complex every day. I feel like my head will blow up sooner or later *sigh* OOooouuuw give tomorrow's event as an example. 11 o'clock tomorrow, i'll have a tele-conference session. AaaArrgh give me a break plzzz... what am i suppose to say, and...more important than that, how do i suppose to understand what they're saying in japanese?!!!!? i only have 5-months-of-hardwork-and-blood-shed grammar, for god's sake!!!

************100%
taking the stress out has been executed successfully!

ohohoho even as difficult as it seems, i know i just can't give up that easily..who do you think I am?! fufufu about tomorrow, i'll certainly give it all. I recall what my friends said the first time those japanese people came to interview us. Almost all of them said: "if we didn't know what those interviewers asked, just said the magic words: "mou ichido, sumimasen"". huahaha those are indeed magic words. But, yesterday when we first heard about tomorrow's tele-conference, i didn't hear, even once, they offered that excuse again. Why? well myself, i personally think we have enough grammars to begin with, okay...maybe not enough grammar to have a high quality conversation, but it is still okay though. Um i hope everything goes well *crossing finger ^^*

Apart from that, i'll go to Bali tomorrow!! yaayyy...ureshii yo. Can't wait to see my mom and dad, also my lil puppy that is not so "puppy" anymore huehehe he turned into a beast already, can u believe it? Soooo damn naughty, and so....big. I was speechless the last time i saw him. But, his fur is thicker..whee i wanna kiss him huehehe..wait for me honey ^^

dizzy

 finally... after been through all tests and interview, i can sleep well tonight ^^ and guess what, the tests were, ehm DIFFICULT!!!! geez i wish i studied harder before. About the interview, it was even worse ~huehehe~ it's hard to understand what japanese people say. *mada mada dame desu*

can't think anymore, time to sleep

notitle

I'm spending 5-days-holiday in jakarta....nooo....T.T all flights to bali are fully booked, geez annoying. But it's okay, able to use the ticket money for shopping hehe...tomorrow dvd hunting day!! it's been so long since the last time i watched the recent movie ^^ well, that and studying for a big test are my only activities for holiday. Actually i'm a lil bit pissed, i've arranged to meet my old friend in bali and hang out ~the last time i saw her was in high school graduation party at Jimbaran~ man, time really goes by fast. Since she's studying in China, it's not easy to meet, always either the unsynchronized holiday schedule or things like this, have no ticket to bali hiks maybe another time. And one thing to add my disappointment, my mom said that today my fam and my church community in bali spent a night together in somewhere cool **this is my mom's way to tease me --> somewhere cool!!!!**  

lately also i rarely saw my friends in college, maybe they've got jobs already, buuut somehow i want to turn back the time just to skip morning classes huehehe

tired n sleepy

 After spent a night in Puncak, all i got is...bruise...well it was fun though, spent time with friends, buuuut....sooo tired, and not all teachers could go with us. Hhhh can't wait to go to sleep, ja ne

A sweet lesson from up above

I just read my friend's blog and suddenly i was awaken!! She wrote something about how she had been provided with all the best. And i don't know...when i read that, somehow I miss my Lord a lot. Lately, i've been away from Him although i know He's been by my side all the time, but i spent less time with Him and tried to solve things with my own effort alone. If nothing went according to my will, i was depressed and yes, nothing good came out of it, nothing was solved, no peace at all. Finally i knew why i acted so selfishly and had a very short temper lately ~huehe2~ ^^ if you're trying to do things on your own and putting Him aside, hmm....i have no doubt that you're gonna end up like me today, depressed and feel like the whole world is going against you ***well, it's a hiperbole again fufufu***
And right now, just a few minutes ago, He taught me with His own way,
how sweet, He indeed loves me sooo much. And suddenly, there's no cloud in my heart again ^^ even though i know, there's still that あほ　(forgive me Lord).

===================================

>>>^0^ <<<
life is again, like a box of chocolate, you'll eventually pick the bitter one

Something that bothers me lately

After finished reading The Alchemist, i started to think about my own dream, what i desire the most. Well, it's not like i didn't have any dreams before reading that book, but it keeps coming to my mind that what i'm doing right now is faaar...far away from what i yearn for. Let me make this clear, i said that not because i hate my current situation, in fact, i'm sooo damn happy and grateful for what He has given me so far, and indeed, they're beyond even my wildest dreams. See, that's what makes me think. What i have now...i wouldn't exchange it with anything else ever, but....to tell da truth, not what i really enjoy doing it. See..see...how disturbing. And one more question, how do you differentiate between dream (i.e. something you really want to do) and a hobby ~maybe not a hobby, but something you think you can do without getting bored until you die~? That's confusing............... ................ hah never mind, forget it, but u know what, i think someday i'll enter an art school, have my own studio, and open an exhibition huahahaha opened just for a limited audience, family only ^^ aaaaaah ばか ですね？

about my training, only one comment i can give, "It's getting tougher and tougher than ever before". I often find my hands full these days, there's a lot to study, i mean a looot. But everything's still running pretty well, nothing goes outside track yet.

Ow this 17 august, hope i can go home, miss my friends n family so much, and my lil sister huehehehe i have sooo many stories (read: curhat) to tell her. Well if my mom gives her "okay" word, then nothing can stop me from going back home ;o~

aaah my dearest puppy also, hang in there dear, i'll hug you pretty soon hoho

この　blog を　書いてから、日本語を　べんきょうします。 Halaaaaah what the hell!!!!

Très fatigué et très somnolent.....merde!!!

Maintenant, très somnolent....hhhh...je n'apprends pas encore!! En outre japanese, j'apprends informatique..huaaaa treees fatigué T.T En plus, demain, peut-être j'ai mon examine..merde!! bonne chance pour moi!! japanese lang, japanese lang grrrr la francais ou le japanese??? Naturellement, la français est mon préféré, très bien, jap lang est....non bon (mauvais), plus mauvais... hihihi .:: don't let Full Cast know 'bout this, i'll be banned from entering Japan, aa pardon pardon huahaha ::. Ça alors, c’est ça y est

** mon cher, bonne nuit ne?! **
.:ing hwa:.

the story behind the oil painting

i made this in september 2005. i would give this to someone important to me.

haah it reminds me of my mom *lol* can u believe it? she always asks the same question: "have you told him?" Hahahaha that's my mom ^^;
On my graduation day, she said out loud: "where is he?" OMG....huehehe i was freaking out. Sooo...what's with the pic anyway? well...when i made the painting, i kept thinking about my early days in college. Finally, i decided to add 4 persons on the painting ~did you notice?~ ^^ hmm...they're depicting my dream, those persons. My future kids, future husband (hopefully with a lot of "poundsterling" saving ** once again, to all my best frendz, u can crack the code fufufu**)...huahaha now when i recall that thought, i sounded sooo stupid back then. だいじょうぶですね? to record my own stupidity ^o^

btw, one of my habit...feel homesick then try to ease it a bit by looking at old photos...then...more homesick than ever hihi especially this one above, so i thought i wrote something about "the story behind the painting" ;0~

.::. for 私のともだち、がんばってね for ur thesis exam!!! .::.

かわいい ですね

anoo....at first wanna try writing this post in japanese....buuut....due to my incapability ~huhu~ i think it is best not to embarassed myself ^^

haaah it's so weird...each time i look at this pic, somehow i just wanna go out shopping ~hieee...so dangerous~ luckily i have pseudocode task for tomorrow untouched yet. but stiiiill...i wish i could do a non stop shopping with an unlimited budget....geez life would be sooo beautiful **yeaah right ;o~ **